Self-discipline is hard enough when things are normal.
But when you are going through something difficult, self-discipline seems nearly impossible.
Here is what you are going to learn by reading this article:
- WHY tough times make self-discipline harder
- WHEN to push through and when to give yourself a break
- Strategies for HOW to be self-disciplined in tough times
Why Tough Times Make Self-Discipline Harder
Even before this whole pandemic thing, my wife and I have been going through some difficult challenges.
My wife has several mental illnesses, including a fear of being near people.
The Story of My Wife’s Fear
A few years back my wife developed a deep fear of being near people.
Not a social anxiety, but rather a fear of physically being near people, and especially encountering them.
She had been dealing with mental illnesses for a long time, but a few years ago things got more extreme than ever before.
At one point, she was a near shut in. She couldn’t go to the doctor, the gym, or commute to work.
Her fear even evolved from people to a fear of being near animals, bugs, and grass.
She used to think she could be connected to people in surrounding apartments through vibrations through the floors and walls.
Fortunately, she has done a ton of hard work through therapy and practice.
And today, while not fully recovered, she is in a radically better spot.
How the Chaos of My Wife’s Condition Affected Her Self-Discipline
During the peak of my wife’s condition, it was much tougher for her to maintain self-discipline than it normally was.
My wife had a difficult time being self-disciplined with certain things, because she had restricted herself from physically going to certain places.
Additionally, the deep emotional trauma made it very hard for her to concentrate on things like work.
And as she tried out different medications, some made things even harder, because of their side effects.
They made her more tired and less motivated to do things.
How This Affected My Self-Discipline
For me, self-discipline also became more difficult during this period.
I invested a ton of energy and time into comforting my wife, as well as searching for ways to help facilitate her recovery.
Some of those things directly involved taking time away from my schedule (and my wife’s).
For example, driving to a good therapist who was far away.
Other things affected me more indirectly.
For example, when my wife went through a particularly bad traumatic incident, it would sap my energy.
That’s because of the emotional stress I had to expend to help console her.
Of course, I LOVE being there for my wife, and I was very committed to helping her.
But nevertheless, it made my usual routines and self-discipline more difficult.
At its worst point, my wife would suffer trauma for days after a situation where she perceived she was too close to someone.
We are talking about debilitating effects.
Screaming, shaking, crying, and completely uncontrollable emotions.
Just imagine either of us trying to get work done during that time.
When to Push Through and When to Give Yourself a Break
The question is:
SHOULD you even try to be self-disciplined when you are going through a highly stressful situation?
Or should you go easy on yourself and allow yourself more time to recover?
First off, let me just say up front, that this is a deeply personal decision.
I would never tell anyone else “just push through.”
I have no idea what other people are experiencing.
No one knows what it’s like to be someone else, going through their own personal problems.
And many people out there have gone through things A MILLION TIMES worse than I have.
So, anyone giving advice that they should just power through is not seeing the whole picture.
Instead, I think it helps more to think about what you CAN get done during a difficult time. AND what you CAN’T.
Try the following:
- List out all your goals
- Prioritize them into what is most important
- Decide how much you can focus on at this time without breaking down
Whatever you do, don’t put too much on your plate.
You are going to be much more likely to keep progressing towards your goals in some manner if you set realistic expectations.
And also much less likely to breakdown and be miserable.
Strategies to Be Self-Disciplined in Tough Times
In addition to not putting too much on your plate, here are some other ways you can keep progressing towards your goals during difficult times:
Feel free to pick and choose the methods which apply best to your own situation.
Focus on Maintaining Self-Discipline, Not Building It
When things are tough, you probably aren’t going to be able to get yourself to be radically more self-disciplined.
Instead, you just want to focus on MAINTAINING the self-discipline you already have.
Maintenance is a victory. Even just preserving part of what you were doing before the tough times is a pretty good outcome.
So, the tips in this article are mainly focused on how to maintain your self-discipline levels to the greatest extent possible.
Since even that’s going to be tough.
Keep Things as Structured as Possible
During tough times, it’s more important than ever to maintain a sense of order.
Here are some tips for how to do that:
- Keep a to-do list: Write down things which you need to get done, and WHEN you need to get them done. Don’t put more on there than you can handle!
- Schedule things during times you are less likely to be distracted: For me, it sometimes helps to do things early in the morning before my wife has a chance to suffer any traumatic incidents. If I wait until later to do things, I risk having to shift away from work to help her. And then not getting anything done as a result.
- Do things in places you are less likely to be distracted: Maybe that’s your home, an office, a library, etc.
Schedule Breaks
When you are going through a challenging time, it’s incredibly important to plan breaks.
Otherwise, you risk suffering from burnout.
The key here is to PLAN them.
If you just randomly take breaks whenever you aren’t motivated, you probably aren’t going to be able to stay self-disciplined.
But if you schedule breaks into your to-do list, then you will be using the breaks as rewards for what you’ve accomplished. Instead of as distractions.
An occasional unplanned break is fine. But try not to make a habit of it.
But in terms of scheduled breaks, take as many as you need!
Manage Your Stress Levels
It’s always important to manage your stress levels, but even more so during difficult times.
If you are less stressed out, you are much more likely to avoid breaking down and giving up all together.
Side note – See the full article on how to stop stressing over things you can’t control (31 tips).
Don’t Doubt Yourself
When you are in the middle of a chaotic situation, it’s easy to start second guessing yourself.
Thoughts like these may enter your head:
- Am I doing the right thing?
- Is what I’m doing even worth it?
- Why I am I even trying?
It’s totally fine to re-evaluate your goals occasionally. But in my experience, it’s better to do so AFTER a difficult period is over.
Rather than right in the middle of it. (Or immediately after.)
When you are going through a serious struggle, you aren’t always thinking clearly.
And for understandable reasons, you tend to be:
- Pessimistic
- Anxious
- And/or more risk averse than usual
Therefore, I’ve found it’s better to re-think my plans after I’ve fully recovered and moved on from things.
Know That Once You Make It Through, You Can Be Stronger Than Ever
Although changing things up suddenly during a challenging time is something to be careful of, it’s totally different AFTER things are over.
Once you survive and come out the other side, often a difficult time will lead to NEW breakthroughs in thinking.
The lessons learned often have the potential to make your life even better.
Keep in mind that when you are going through a tough battle, you have two options:
- Let it destroy you
- Use the experience to get even stronger
Through my wife’s fear of being near people, we have both experienced a good deal of trauma (of course her even more so).
But now, we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And we realize that we are going to be stronger than ever as a result of what happened.
It didn’t break either of us and we managed to maintain a remarkably decent level of self-discipline throughout.
While not going so extreme that we burnt out.
There are many lessons we learned as well as a few blessings in disguise.
We have grown even closer than we already were as a result of everything.
And our experiences have inspired me to write articles like this one.
It’s hard to see in the moment, but if you keep forging ahead you can turn things around too.
Conclusion
Tough times test everybody’s limits and make self-discipline extremely hard to maintain.
I hope the strategies in this article can help you stay on track towards your goals, even when life gets challenging.
Want more? Check out these articles on how to build self-discipline!
Here are some other recommended articles on how to build self-discipline:
- Why Self-Discipline is Difficult (And How to Make it Easier)
- Why Self-Discipline is Important
- How to Build Self-Discipline (a list of my best articles & other resources on self-discipline)