Why Self-Discipline is Difficult (& How to Make it Easier) • The Disciplined Rebel

This article discusses why self-discipline is difficult, and how to make it easier.

I am going to share 5 methods I have used to improve my self-discipline, which turned my life completely around!

Here is what you will learn by reading this article:

Why self-discipline is difficult
How to make self-discipline easier

Section 1: Why Self-Discipline is Difficult

Self-discipline is about learning to control yourself so you can work towards your goals, even when no one is forcing you to.

The question is, if you want to do something so badly, why is it so hard to get yourself to do it?

Here are 4 reasons why self-discipline is so difficult.

Reason 1: Self-Discipline is Difficult Due to the Resistance You Experience

At first glance, it seems like self-discipline should be easy.

Imagine you were a character in a video game, and you were controlling yourself.

If you wanted to make your Video Game Self accomplish a goal, you’d simply click a button, and your Video Game Self would do it.

However, for some reason in real life, getting yourself to do things is so much harder than pushing a button.

But why is that the case?

The answer lies in the resistance that you face, that your Video Game Self doesn’t have to worry about.

This resistance comes in many forms, such as:

Pain
Effort
Stress
Fear of failure
Fear of the unknown
Lack of energy
Lack of confidence
Etc.

In other words, you face resistance from the negative physical, mental, and emotional sensations that you go through when you attempt to accomplish something.

These can be incredibly tough obstacles and are an important part of why self-discipline is so challenging.

Reason 2: The Problem of Present Bias Makes Self-Discipline Challenging

There is a well-studied phenomenon called Present Bias.

Which states that most of the time you do things to benefit your Present Self and you discount the effects your actions have on your Future Self.

One of the reasons why self-discipline is so difficult, is because the things you want to do are often things where your Present Self has to do most of the work. But your Future Self gets most of the benefits.

And your Present Self doesn’t like that deal. Why do a ton of work just to benefit your Future Self?

One way around the problem of Present Bias is to learn to delay gratification. That is, to resist short-term rewards in favor of long-term benefits.

And that’s definitely part of the equation, and something I am all for. But it is also a hard skill to learn and will likely take a long time to develop.

Later on, I will share some methods for reducing Present Bias, which can help make self-discipline easier.

Reason 3: Self-Discipline is Difficult Because Habits Are Tough to Develop

Your life is made up of hundreds of habits which you have accumulated since you were born.

Once you form habits you can do them without giving them a second thought.

The problem is, adopting new habits can be incredibly difficult.

Take exercising for example.

There are some people who have already developed the habit of working out.

For those people, exercise feels great.

It’s not a chore for them because they’ve already pushed past the initial resistance. And exercise has become a routine part of their lives.

But what if you’ve never formed the habit of exercising?

For you, it’s going to be a lot more challenging since you have to re-wire your brain in order to develop the habit of working out.

Recommended Article: How to Stick to a Workout Schedule.

Reason 4: The “Try Too Hard Cycle” Can Make Self-Discipline Harder

Here’s what the Try Too Hard Cycle looks like:

Want to change your life —>
Try to do it all at once —>
Burnout —>
Give up —>
Do nothing for a while —>
Get bored and fed up —>
Want to change your life

You start by wanting to change your life. So, you decide to try to change everything at once.

Which leads to you burning out, and then giving up.

After doing nothing for a while you get bored and fed up, and decide you want to change your life again.

And this cycle keeps repeating OVER AND OVER.

An example for me was with working out.

For the longest time, whenever I wanted to get in better shape, instead of doing a simple workout to start, I would do the most HARDCORE workout I could find.

Then after one week I’d burnout and not workout for months.

I went through the same cycle for applying to jobs, trying to eat healthily, and countless other things.

Then there’s another problem related to the Try Too Hard Cycle, called procrastination.

Procrastination is related because when you procrastinate you often spend a lot of time trying to make the perfect plan, but then never get around to following through with it.

It’s like going from the “want to change your life” part of the cycle right to the “giving up” part. Without even getting to the steps that involve really doing something.

Believe me, I’ve been there too.

I can’t tell you how long I read about the benefits of meditating before I got around to actually meditating.

Literally years!

Recommended Article: How to Stop Putting Off Work (& Get Stuff Done!)

Section 2: How to Make Self-Discipline Easier

In this section I’m going to share 5 methods which have made self-discipline FAR easier for me.

My life has gotten so much better since I started using these methods, including my health, relationships, career, and pretty much everything else in my life.

Method 1: Be as Specific as Possible with Your Goals!

One thing that has radically improved my ability to stay self-disciplined, is to form clear, specific goals.

I used to have lots of broad, vague goals. Like:

“I want to start meditating.”
“I want to get in amazing shape.”
“Tomorrow, I swear, I’m going to clean my apartment!”

But when it came time to mediate, exercise, or clean my apartment, I would get overwhelmed and give up.

Then, after years of this pattern, I started doing something different. I began to write down SUPER SPECIFIC goals in my to-do list.

Like “I am going to meditate 5 minutes in the morning on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.”

And all of a sudden, I found self-discipline was nowhere near as difficult!

If I made a SPECIFIC goal, I was much more likely to follow through with it, because I had thought through a plan for HOW to accomplish the goal.

And I also started to realize that some of my previous broad, vague goals, were things I didn’t even want to do!

They seemed great in THEORY, but once I began to detail out the specific steps that needed to be done, I realized I didn’t want to do them in practice.

And eliminating those things, freed up my time and mental space to be able to focus my attention on the goals that I really DID want to do!

Method 2: Don’t Have an “All or Nothing” Mentality

Back in the day, when I used to pursue a goal, I would have an “all or nothing” approach.

I either achieved my goal or I didn’t.

The problem was, this mentality led me to get easily discouraged when I didn’t achieve that big, final goal I was looking for.

For example, I went through a 2-year period where I couldn’t find a job.

When job searching, I would get demoralized whenever I didn’t get an offer. And that would often deter me from applying to jobs for a few weeks.

But later on, I started giving myself credit for the little achievements.

Like:

Hearing back after submitting a resume.
Having a good phone interview.
Or simply sending in an application.

As soon as I started giving myself credit for these little things, something remarkable happened.

I started to become more disciplined and persistent in looking for jobs.

And not only that, I did it with a whole lot more enthusiasm and confidence, which likely showed during interviews.

And as a result, I was able to get a job within just a few months of getting rid of my “all or nothing” mentality.

Method 3: Start Small, and Take Advantage of “The Spillover Effect”

The Spillover Effect is what I call the idea that progress in 1 area (even if really small) can lead to a series of exponential breakthroughs in other parts of your life.

This is exactly what happened to me when I turned my life around.

For a few years after school I was in a bad slump, where I spent all day playing games, eating junk food, and not doing anything productive.

But then one summer I made 1 small change: I decided to play a little basketball each day.

At the time I didn’t realize it, but looking back, this was the moment my life began to turn around.

Basketball led to me lifting weights. Lifting weights led to me eating healthier. Getting healthier led to increased confidence. And so on.

In just a year, my life was so much better it was like night and day!

I had a job, a girlfriend, more confidence, better social skills, and much more self-discipline.

The thing is, the reason why self-discipline is difficult, is often because you try to make HUGE changes.

But if you start small and take advantage of the positive momentum that even the smallest of changes can create, you will start to improve your life in ways that ADD UP to great things.

Method 4: Align the Interests of Your Present Self and Future Self

Earlier I mentioned how one of the reasons why self-discipline is difficult is because of Present Bias.

Which occurs due to a misalignment of interests between your Present and Future Self.

But what if you could ALIGN those interests?

If your Present Self AND your Future Self want the same things, you have the winning formula for making self-discipline easier.

Here are a few ways to align the interests of your Present and Future Self, which have made a big difference for me:

Prioritize goals which your Present Self is likely to enjoy. Or can learn to enjoy.
Make things as easy and convenient as possible for yourself. The easier it is to do, the more likely your Present Self will want to do it.
Try to find joy in the process, not just in the outcome. Once you find things you like about the process, your Present Self will be a lot less likely to resist doing it.

Method 5: Forgive Yourself When Things Don’t Go Perfectly

Back when self-discipline was more difficult for me, I would feel horrible whenever things didn’t go the way I planned.

If I missed a workout, I felt regret.
If I procrastinated a deadline at school, I felt guilt.
If I tried to apply to a job and didn’t get it, I felt shame.

And these negative emotions would often lead me to give up.

But then I learned, slowly but surely, that there was no way to avoid failure. It was going to happen no matter how hard I tried.

And now I’ve realized that when I mess up, the most important thing is to forgive myself and keep moving forward.

I haven’t gotten rid of the negative emotions, but I have gotten better at moving past them sooner.

Remember, don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect. Everyone slips up once in a while. The key is just not to give up for good.

Want More on How to Make Self-Discipline Easier?

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