Forming Good Habits That Stick (11 Secrets) • The Disciplined Rebel

Do you have trouble forming good habits that stick?

Habits are incredibly powerful once built, but can be difficult to form.

Often, you start doing something productive (studying, exercising, eating healthy, etc.), but it doesn’t last.

You eventually lose motivation and give up.

So how do you create good, lifelong habits that make you happier and more successful?

That’s exactly what I’m going to address in this article.

Here are 11 secrets which I’ve used personally to form good habits that stick.

1. Start Slow

Everyone’s first instinct when they have a new goal, is to go all-in right away.

When you select a diet plan, you usually pick the most extreme one out there.

“I’m never going to eat carbs, sugars, meat, dairy, salt, soy, and anything with toxins in it ever again!”

And then three days later you go back to binge eating candy.

But imagine if you set a more reasonable diet that isn’t quite as difficult?

There is a much higher chance you will be able to stick with it in the long run.

2. Consistency is More Important Than How Fast You Progress

When you are trying to form a habit, the most important thing you can focus on is consistency.

Consistency is more important than how fast you progress.

Let’s say the habit you want to develop is to devote more time to studying/coursework, and you have your senior thesis paper due in 3 months.

It is a major project which involves doing research, writing a long paper, and presenting it in class.

The project is going to involve a lot of work, and you want to get in the habit of devoting time to work on it far in advance of its due date. That way you have time to do a good job on it.

Imagine these 2 scenarios:

More Intense Option: Work on the project 2 hours a day, 6 days a week, and then get overwhelmed and give up after the first week.
Consistent Option: Work on the project 1 hour a day, 2 days a week, and keep doing that for the whole 3 months before it is due.

The intense option leads to 12 hours of working.

The consistent option leads to 24 hours of working.

And the consistent option not only helps with this exam, it helps you form a good habit (of devoting time to work and preparing in advance), which carries over into other courses.

Now, of course *in theory* if someone was able to do the intense option for several weeks, that would eventually add up to even more hours devoted to the project.

But in practice, going too extreme at first rarely works. It almost always leads to getting overloaded and giving up.

Consistency is a much more sustainable strategy. And sustainability is what habits are all about – doing things so regularly you don’t even have to think about them.

3. Progress Gradually Over Time

Let’s say you’ve started slowly, focused on consistency, and you’ve begun to develop a habit.

But now you want to take things to the next level.

That’s where progression comes in.

Progression is where you push yourself to a more advanced level.

For example:

Lifting heavier weights
Learning harder songs on the guitar
Or devoting more time to your daily meditation

The key is not to push yourself too far, too quickly.

Progressing too fast can lead to you giving up and losing the consistency of sticking with a goal that we discussed earlier.

Imagine a new version of the senior thesis project scenario we mentioned earlier.

This time let’s add in a progression component, while still making sure it isn’t too overwhelming that it leads to inconsistency:

Work on the project 2 days a week – every Monday and Wednesday (consistency)
Start with just 15 minutes of project work a day for the first week (start slow)
Add in 15 minutes of additional working per day every week (gradual progression)

Under this plan, here is how much you would devote to this project on Mondays and Wednesdays each week before it is due:

Week 1: 15 minutes
Week 2: 30 minutes
Week 3: 45 minutes
Week 4: 1 hour
Week 5: 1 hour and 15 minutes
Week 6: 1 hour and 30 minutes
Week 7: 1 hour and 45 minutes
Week 8: 2 hours
Week 9: 2 hours and 15 minutes
Week 10: 2 hour and 30 minutes
Week 11: 2 hours and 45 minutes
Week 12: 3 hours

This option leads to 39 hours of work! Which is higher than the original consistent option that didn’t include progression (24 hours) and the intense/too extreme option (12 hours).

This gradual progression option also has the advantage of allowing you to start even slower at first.

Just 15 minutes a day the first week. But then build up to an even higher level of project work at the end (3 hours a day).

This plan is the best of all worlds.

Keep in mind this is just an example and is not intended as an actual plan, since that would depend on more specific factors to your situation.

4. CRITICAL Method to Forming Good Habits That Stick: Pair a New Habit with an Existing Habit

Another strategy that works well when trying to create a new habit, is to pair it with an existing habit which is already strong.

For example, let’s say you want to start meditating.

If you pair meditation with something else you are already doing regularly, then the habit will form more quickly.

Perhaps you have a morning routine in place where you brush your teeth, shower, and then eat breakfast.

Those are all habits of yours.

Now imagine you tell yourself you will meditate right after you brush your teeth.

Your brain will begin to associate meditation with the brushing teeth habit which you’ve already built up.

James Clear calls this “habit stacking.”

It is a powerful technique that allows you to form habits much more quickly.

5. Have a Specific Schedule

If you want to build good habits, you need to have a well-organized plan.

Let’s say the habit you want to develop is to start reading more.

If you just tell yourself you are going to “read as much as possible,” you probably aren’t going to make reading a habit.

The problem is, you will only read when you are feeling motivated. And you won’t always be motivated.

Instead, you are better off creating a schedule where you devote specific periods of time to reading.

Eventually, reading will become a part of your routine, and you may not even need to have it on your schedule anymore.

6. Get Over the Initial “Hump” Period

If you want to form good habits that stick, it’s very important that you follow through with the initial steps.

You may think to yourself “in the grand scheme of things, if I miss this one step, it won’t make a big difference.”

But that’s not true. Especially when you are first starting off.

That’s because if you aren’t consistent in taking care of those early steps, you will never create enough momentum to form a habit.

The tough part is, the initial steps are the hardest ones to motivate yourself to do.

There’s this kind of hump you have to get over.

And it’s totally understandable if you can’t get over that hump. It’s not going to happen every time.

But if you can at some point find a way to get past those early stages, your habit will start forming and things will start to get easier.

7. CRITICAL Method to Forming Good Habits That Stick: Focus on the Process, Not Just the Outcome

There are two ways to approach things:

Outcome-focused: Doing things to achieve a specific result (e.g., getting a good grade on a test)
Process-focused: Doing things because you enjoy the act of doing them in and of themselves (e.g., studying because you like learning the material)

You are much more likely to form a habit that sticks if you focus on the process, and not just the outcome.

Why?

Because if you enjoy the process of something, you are going to be happier when doing it.

And if you are happier, you are more likely to stick to it.

It’s totally fine if the outcome is important to you too. The key is just to try to learn to enjoy and focus on the process as well.

If interested, check out this article (or the below video) for a DEEP dive into why, when, and how to focus on the process.

8. Prioritize Which Habits You Work On

If you are like me, whenever you want to change, you have this tendency to want to change everything.

Which is great, but it’s important to prioritize what you focus on first.

You have limited will power, and it’s going to be hard enough trying to get yourself to start to form one habit. If you throw in a bunch of other new habits at the same time, it’s going to be even harder.

There will be plenty of time to focus on those other things after you establish your first habit.

9. Have Others Hold You Accountable

Another way to form strong habits is to have other people hold you accountable.

Let’s say the habit you want to form is to study an hour a day.

There are a few ways to have people hold you accountable in this scenario:

Group Activity Approach: Study together with friends. Since they are there with you the whole time it will be hard not to study.
Direct Check-In Approach: Tell a friend or family member you are going to study at a certain time and have them to check in with you to make sure you do it.
Unofficial Peer Pressure Approach: Mention that you are going to study an hour a day, off hand, to a friend or family member. Then you will feel more obligated to follow through with your claim than if you just kept it to yourself.

These approaches all have their pros and cons, but each of them can help you form habits.

One the habit is fully formed, you may not even need anyone there to hold you accountable anymore.

10. CRITICAL Method to Forming Good Habits That Stick: Celebrate the Small Wins

Giving yourself credit for the little achievements will boost your willingness to keep progressing towards your long-run goals.

Which will help you persist long enough for habits to form.

Say you want to get a promotion at work.

If you just focus on the long-run goal of getting a promotion, the outcome may seem so far off that you get overwhelmed and stop trying.

But what if instead you give yourself credit for the short-run achievements?

That project you did a great job on, a task you did well, or a new skill you learned.

If you give yourself credit for the little things, you will be continuously encouraged to keep moving forward, and make it more likely you form habits that stick.

Not only that, rewarding yourself for the small achievements will make you much happier.

11. Adjust as Needed (Setbacks Are Expected)

An important thing to keep in mind when it comes to building habits, is that not everything is going to go perfectly.

There will be occasions where you realize you went about things the wrong way.

Tough times will happen in your life which make it difficult for you to pursue your goals.

You probably will get discouraged at some point and possibly even go through ruts where you give up completely for a period.

But just know that is okay.

Setbacks are a natural part of the process.

The key is just to keep progressing towards your goals as consistently as you can.

And when it doesn’t work out, to keep moving forward and give it another shot.

Conclusion

Good habits are incredibly hard to form.

But if you follow the strategies outlined in this article, you can form good habits which stick for life.